A Sex Tape? Now We’re Bloggin’!

By: Rob | September 24th, 2007

Oh, those magical words every blogger longs to hear: “sex tape.” That was the pleasant good morning news that greeted me, courtesy of Offside Overlord Bob’s morning update. Here I was planning on spending today’s post discussing how best to pronounce Liam Rosenior, and Leroy Lita provides me with the story of this blog’s young lifetime. However, I thought it unwise to search “Leroy Lita Sex Tape” on my work computer, so apologies for not dropping all the latest breaking videophone sex-tape news in a timelier fashion.

So, the details, as gleaned from a number of presumably reputable London newspaper sources (those are all highly ethical publications, right?) are as follows:

- Lita decided to do a little home cinematography on himself engaging in flagrante delicto with a brunette acquaintance.

- Proud of his budding directorial skills, Lita shared the two-minute video with his teammates, because hey, if your phone has a feature to send videos around to friends, why not use it?

- Those teammates enjoyed Lita’s video so much, they made it viral, spreading it around to other English-based footballers, so that everyone could get a little bit of video scouting in on the young striker.

- No word yet on whether the video clip ends with Lita suffering his infamous “stretching in bed” injury as the twist ending.

- Steve Coppell, most likely while giving a look so steely it resurrected J.P. Morgan, commented “If it’s true it’s distasteful. But I want to get the facts first. He will start against Liverpool.”

- As far as I know, the clip is not yet available anywhere online, though I’ll admit to not searching too hard for it. That shot of Lita’s O-face at the top of this post is enough for me, thanks.

For the most part, my reaction to this news is largely bemusement - Reading, as far as I’ve seen, is the most scandal-free team imaginable in the Premiership, with the only tabloid attention they received last year having to do with the quality of ambulance service at the Madejski (oh Jose, I miss you already). My lasting impression of the Reading players’ social life is based upon a couple Premier League Preview segments where their wives organized hilariously low-budget charity events, like a fashion show held in what appeared to be the banquet room of an Olive Garden. Jumping from that suburban dullness to a sex tape is a bit of a whiplash, but it still pales in comparison to the United Portuguese orgy, or even Sunderland’s videotaped gang-bang from last year.

Still, it’s another stumble for Lita, who hasn’t been producing this year and got straight dropped off the first team last Saturday. Getting on Coppell’s bad side with this kind of trouble, harmless as it may ultimately be, can’t be good for the young Leroy’s future with the club. I’d wager the likelihood of selling him off this coming January just got a little bit higher.

Rest assured, I will do my loyal Reading blogger duty and stay hot on all the latest salacious details of this developing story. Updates as they come. Er…